You Are the Lost
by Osiris's Consort
Summary: So jealous. So envious. So controlling. All mine and no other should touch. Only mine, all mine, and are these the thoughts I should think of my god? Kyo/Tohru, Yuki/Machi, Rin/Haru, Hana/Shishou, Akito/Shigure.
1. Haru: Mine

"You really don't…need me? I see…in that case, it doesn't matter anymore."

Easy.

Gently, gently.

Like approaching a wild horse.

My Rin, my wilddarkbeautiful Rin.

Gently.

"It doesn't matter…if I die."

_There_.

Widewide eyes, horror and shock and fear.

_My_ Rin!

Seize. Hold. God. My Rin. Want. Want. So so much.

Arm around her waist. Fingers spread—not too far, just enough to fill the small of her back, to hold her to me. god. God, I _want_. Want skin want hair want wide dark eyes. Rin my Rin only mine, _want._

Hand in her hair, thick and long and tangling my fingers, trapping and holding and never letting me go.

Taller than her, finallyfinally taller, to bow her back against me, arch her back so it _must_ hurt, should hurt, let her hurthurthurt because she's so beautiful and she's mine and whywhywhy would she leave me?!

Arch her back, curve her into me, hips against mine and her breasts pressed into my chest and how long has it been since I held her like this, so tight and so hard and I want her more than _air_.

Hand in her hair, pull, pull her back. Sweet face and wide eyes, up to mine, exactly where they belong. She's so soft, she's so close, and I want her so _much_.

Kiss.

_Yes._

Finally, air and breathing and _don't you realize how much I want you?!_ No, no, I won't let you pull away and if I was my black self I'd take you right now, right here, and would you really deny me?

I've kissed you and licked and cuddledfondledgroped, felt you and fingered you and fucked you until you screamed, but I need you, _I need you!_ I eatyoudrinkyou_breathe_you, all mine, only mine, mineminemine, you're mine and no one else's, can't you see don't you know that you're _mine?!_

You're making soft little sounds in my mouth, weak little protests melting into hungry moans and and do you want to devour me the way I do you? Hungry and thirsty and burning and you're sex and you're fire, and you're mineallmine. I've touchedkissedcaressed every inch of you, I've lost myself inside you and died every time.

We can't go back now, Rin, I needyouwantyouhavetohaveyou. I want to lay you down, right here in front of Yuki, want to lay you down and takeyoutakeyoutakeyoubreakyou, take you till you screamcryshatter.

But I won't.

I won't, because I'm Haru, and you're Rin, and I can't hurt you like that. I willnotcannot, because you don't need to break anymore.

I deserve the slap you give me. I shouldn't want you to scream and weep for me. I do, but I won't. I won't chase after you.

Because, goddammit and goddamn _you_, Rin, as much as I wantyouneedyouhungerforyou, I love you.

Run, Rin.

I love you.

I love you.

_I love you_.

Hallo again! My new series of drabbles is underway. 9 chances out of 10 this'll get updated more often than anything else, simply because no plot is required…In any case, it's a series of Furuba drabbles. …That's about it. I wrote this one based entirely on one page in volume 12. First official kiss of the series say WHAAAT. This is just about my favorite pairing, I might add—they're so beautiful and driiiiiipping with angst. Therefore, I LOVE THEM. Dear lord. Well, read and review, my darlings!


	2. Rin: Don't Believe Me

Don't believe me.

Don't believe me.

"You stay the hell away from me!"

Come closer. Hold me, please. I never needed to be held so much in my life.

I love you, Haru.

IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou I can't walk can't stand can't live without you anymore. I'm so weak, I'm dragging you down, I'm killing you, aren't I? you're not menat to be mine, no matter how much I love you, but please god, Haru, I love you, I do.

"Don't you dare touch me!"

TOUCH ME.

Touchemeholdmekissmetakeme I miss all the ways you love me. I'm yours, I'm yours, yours alone and I'll always be yours but there's someone out there who can walk beside you, not drag you down.

"You really don't…need me?"

NO I need you I need you so much.

"I see…"

Don't see. Don't let me go. I need you.

"In that case, it doesn't matter." Haru, _no_. you matter of course you matter I just have to break you free you can't be bound, of course you matter, you're everything.

"It doesn't matter…if I die."

…

What?

NO!

NonononoNO you didn't just say that you can't have just said that I can't believe it won't believe it you're my Haru and you can neverevernevernever die!

And suddenly you're on top of me and all around me and your hand is on my back pulling me tighttighttight to you and your head and ohmygod don't ever let me go. IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou more than anything and your hand is tangled in my hair and I know how you love it when that happens and Haru, Haru, Haru.

I only want to make you happy I only want to set you free. You're pulling on my hair and if it's what you want _of course_ you can have it have me so I tilt my face to you and you're kissing me and _ohgodyes_ I missed this missed you. HaruHaruHaru only yours always yours save me. I'm supposed to save you why do you always have to save me?

You're breathing all my breath away and I can think of is you holding me and your lips and your hands all over me, loving me. Making me alive. Someone _wanting_ me, for the first time evereverever. Can I feel that again, please give it to me, your life your light your love.

I love you too much. God, I have to…I have to get away, have to set you free. If you hold me here anymore I'm never going to be able to walk away.

I have to run.

I have to run away, Haru.

I have to…

But I can't…I can't—stand.

I can't stand on my own.

Not anymore.


	3. Shigure: Cycle

So jealous.

So envious.

So controlling.

All mine and no other should touch. Only mine, all mine, and are these the thoughts I should think of my god?

My goddess. She wants to kill me for knowing. She wants to put her pretty little slim hands around my neck and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze until I can't breathe evernever again. She hates me, so much.

She loves me, even more.

She's so delicious dangerous delectable, so small and fragile and peel away her suit and pants and she's such a woman, so beautiful when she's not insane. She cries, when we make love, hot and salty and thick, for me to lap away. (I am the Dog, after all.) And who knew tears could taste so good?

I never want to stop, never want to let her go, such a cunning clever child too beautiful for her own good. She drives me to my hypocrisy. I desire her so much it frightens me. I have to flee. Find the most beautiful women, attain the unattainable, because I don't need her I don't I don't.

Yet even as I throw countless conquests to the ground, she should never do the same. No one else should love her as I have, touch her as I have, kiss her as I have, no one else should even _look_ at her.

I can lure her back to me, draw her in just by being near and threatening to be far. I can lure the butterfly to my hand by wetting my fingertips with honey, but as soon as I move to close my hand, she flutters away…

Too beautiful, too tempting, such a beautiful traitor. Have to holdkisslicksuckscrewfuckOWN. MINE.

God of all the animals but _she_, Akito, woman weeper temptress seductress lover hater screamer, she is all mine, only mine.

To absorb.

Devour.

Consume.

OWN. Such a traitorous butterfly, my unfaithful angel. So cruel, likes to cut me, scarred my shoulders with her nails as she clung to me when I broke her.

And I did.

Break her.

Again and again and again until she completely shatters, until she's screaming aloud and her nails so deep in my back I'll have to have Hatori bandage it. And it's so so worth it, because I do love to crush her, destroy her, and I'll see that bastard Kureno make her feel like this.

And watching her shatter I let myself crumble too, and ohdeargodAkito I _need_ her like this, always like this, screaming and sweating and shattering together. But then it's over and she's falling asleep and I have to run, run, getawaynow before she can do the same.

Shake my brilliant poison butterfly off my fingers before she flies away on her own and leaves me feeling so empty. I don't want to feel, don't want to feel empty, alone, we're the juunishi and we're _never_ alone, but when God doesn't want you for more than one night, who does?

So I run. Defy. Scheme and plot and cannive and betray.

How else could I get by?

How else could I survive, constantly brokenhearted and eternally abandoned? So I send my poison butterfly away, just for a time, until I lure her back again. This is my eternal dance. My eternal cycle. Call and love and flee again. And every time I run away, the jealousy comes again. I hate the eyes that look at her, every eye that isn't mine.

So jealous.

So envious.

So controlling.

All mine and no other should touch.

Only mine, all mine, and these are the thoughts I think of my goddess.

………

_Oh, dear, it's been over a week, hasn't it? Oh dear oh dear oh dear. See, the thing is, my father has decided I read too much manga. He's basically forbidden me from reading it. So, needless to say, inspiration is somewhat gonnnne…but I'm still writing! Really I am! It'll just be a little slower than normal. Bear with me, please._

_Also, enjoy the Akito/Shigure. I love them. Equal amounts of evilness=love. Duhhh._

_And since I forgot to say it before, I do NOT own Fruits Basket, it belongs to dear Takaya-sensei._


	4. Kyo: Don't Love Me

_Don't Love Me_

I don't—

I don't know.

I want to remember, everything. I want to forget. Everything.

I want her beside me, always. I want her free of me. Always.

The beads clink on my wrist, constant reminders of what I am. A monster.

I don't know. I don't know why she throws me so off-balance. I want to whisper in her ear, sing stupid sweet love songs for her, hold her so beyond tight and make her safe and happy. So why do I always end up screaming furious words I don't mean? Why can't I make the right words come out?

I just…

I just—

I just love her so much!

I just want her to be _happy_. More than anything. More than anyone. She, more than anyone else, deserves to be happy. I'm halfway tempted to just…give up. To let that damn rat, or even that annoying rabbit have her. She's _always_ smiling like an idiot around Momiji. And Yuki…he…damn him! He protects her, walks her everywhere, always makes sure she's safe.

And I…I can't even be there to catch her when she falls.

That damn rat would beat the shit out of me again if he knew I was still thinking like this. But goddammit, doesn't she deserve someone who can actually take care of her?! Someone kinder and gentler than I could ever be. She deserves that.

I'm scared.

I'm so scared of hurting her. Because I'm strong, and for all my months of training, I never could mediate it completely. Shishou tells me I'm too rash, too fueled by emotion and incapable of keeping my feelings under control. He's right, too right. And what if I get angry around her? (Not at her. Never at her.) Not even angry! What if I was just desirous? Just hungry? Just common and everyday lustful? I could hurt her. So easily. I'm a monster trying to play with a china doll. So beautiful. So fragile. Much too lovely and much too breakable. I could shatter her without hardly noticing.

And the worst part is—she'd forgive me. Hell, she'd probably find some way to blame herself. She never was able to learn to be selfish, but god I want to spoil her. And I can't. I just can't…

Please.

Please, my angel, my panacea, my light my love my life, please forget about me. Please, don't love me. Don't love me at all. Hate me. Curse me. Scream at me, tell me you never want to see my face again. Please don't forgive me. You've forgiven me so many times, and I don't deserve it, don't deserve it at all. I _am_ a parasite. I _am_ a monster. I _should_ be locked away. Forever.

Don't forgive me. I'll only poison you. Don't remember me. I'll only hurt you. Don't love me. I'll only kill you. I can't…take care…of you. However much I want to. However much I love you. My hands will only bruise you, my arms will only crush you, my lips will only poison you. You're an antidote I don't deserve, and, for the first time in my life, I won't let someone die for my sake again. I won't destroy you to save myself.

Please.

Let go of me.

Walk into the light, where you belong. Don't think about me. I'll fade into the darkness and stay there forever, like a good little monster. I don't matter. It's you that's important. It's you that can still be saved.

Don't remember me. Don't forgive me. Don't love me.

Please, don't love me.

…XxX…

_Sheesh, I took too long about this._

_Okay, just insofar as the timeline—picture this as set after Tohru falls, and before she gets out of the hospital. In that interim where Uo and Hana won't let Kyo see her. Just so you know._

_Shyah, this took way too long. However, I may be updating more soon. It all depends on my free time and my inspiration._

_Read and review, please! (It really does help. I could use a review here.)_


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